Asking For Help Can Be Hard

It doesn’t matter what it’s about, sometimes I have a lot of difficulty asking for help. Maybe it has to do with the fact that I was raised with the messages “be tough" and “be a man,” maybe it has to do with my quest for self-reliance and independence. Maybe, just maybe, I was born this way. It just might be the case that I will have ample opportunity to practice asking for help in a variety of contexts and situations for the rest of my life. Maybe I’m looking at this through a lens that has nothing to do with that it is hard for me to ask for help, rather it is hard for me to accept it.

Or Sometimes Is It Accepting the Help that is Hard?

Accepting and asking are inherently two different things. One has an inwardly directed energy and one has an external energy. What does it mean to open myself up to receive energy, in this instance help, from an outside source? At first glance, I have to put myself in a vulnerable position to be able to receive. I have to accept that I can’t do it alone. The risk my brain wants to convince me of is that I am inadequate, not enough, or unable to do something on my own. These are difficult narratives and stories to overcome. The trick that I like to use when moments like this arise is to ask myself what happens when I flip the script, turn the narrative around, and ask myself, “What do I have to gain from this situation? How can asking for help be a positive?”

An easy metaphor for this situation is thinking about having to go to the doctor for a broken limb. If I were to break my arm, I would need help to re-set the bone, stabilize the injury, and position things so that healing could happen most efficiently. This is an example I like to turn to when I am faced with the difficulty it takes to ask for help. I also take time to let myself feel into the experience of receiving help from a more skilled/trained person. It could also be though of taking music lessons when we want to learn how to play an instrument. It isn’t necessarily that we can’t figure it out on our own, it just might be that we get to more exciting places faster by getting help from a pro.

Support through counseling is within your reach.

When I think of asking for and receiving help with terms like this, I am much more able to do each of these things. My anxiety, worry, or insecurity shrinks. More often than not, asking for some help can lead to some powerful, catalyzing changes. Reach out and ask for help today. I wonder what will happen.