Every Relationship has Challenges
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What’s wrong with me? Am I bad at relationships?
It is easy to let negative self-talk get in the way of the truth. The fact of that matter is that relationships are hard. It is also important to consider that rarely are we good at everything without any practice or coaching. We don’t have to go through life and the challenges that we encounter alone. Through connection to other people, community, and loved ones, the stressors that come up in life are more easily faced. These days and ages, it is easy to see the online world of another person and think, “what did they do that I didn’t to get there?” or “why is their life so much better than mine?” I’m sure there are a million other questions we can ask ourselves that all have a similar tone and theme, that there is something wrong with me or with my relationship. I find that it is all too easy to drown ourselves in negative self-talk, defeating ourselves rather than the issue at hand. Within our relationships to others, especially our lovers, these voices can be particularly loud.
How do I fix my relationship?
Wanting to “figure it out", or “fix it” is not an uncommon place to start. Knowing what to do next is where the hard part comes in. But, think of this, you’re here, you’re reading this, so that tells me that you’re trying. That tells me that you are reaching out for support. Getting support for how we show up in relationship is a totally natural thing to do. As a species, from day 1, we begin to imitate the other people in our lives. We learn by watching, listening, and practicing that which we see other people do. When we want to learn something new, we go find other people that can help us learn.
That’s where couple’s therapy can be incredibly helpful. Each of us are born with unique talents and skills that naturally develop. Unfortunately, that doesn’t mean we are always going to be well equipped to face the challenges that come up when we get into relationship. Empathy is a great example of this. Some people are naturally empathic and others need some help to learn. Healthy communication styles and patterns can have a huge impact on the well-being of a relationship. Sometimes, the patterns we observed and absorbed when we were younger lose their effectiveness and it is time to learn something to replace it.
Let’s Start Solution Focused and Skill Based Couple’s Counseling in Grass Valley Together
Couple’s counseling doesn’t have to signal the end of anything negative. Rather it is a forum for old patterns and practices that no longer serve the relationship to be released. Couple’s counseling doesn’t have to involve digging up the past and going eye for an eye with issues. The best part about therapy is that we get to make it what you want, and set goals together. We can take a practical, solution focused approach to learning effective and efficient tools and skills for your relationship. Often what couples need most are new tools and skills in the here-and-now. Together we can re-establish the bond and commitment that you made with each other. Together we can sow the seeds for a healthy and happy future together. Together, we can heal. Email or Call me today to get this conversation started.
