Looking for EMDR in Grass Valley?

First of all, EMDR, what’s that? In the most basic sense, EMDR is a tool, much like a paintbrush or a screwdriver. More importantly, it is how the tool is used and for what purpose. EMDR is a therapeutic tool used for processing trauma. EMDR stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing, quite the mouthful. The technique is used alongside psychotherapy and has shown, through evidence based research, to be an effective and efficient tool for processing trauma.

Yeah, but what is EMDR?

Well, not all EMDR has to involve eye movement, or a person waving their hand in the air. What the eye movement is working to accomplish is what we call “alternating bi-lateral stimulation.” This serves multiple purposes. By providing a stimulation through eye movement, headphones, or vibrating paddles, the person receiving the treatment is kept in the here-and-now as memories are triggered and brought into the present moment. In addition to providing a grounding, present moment centered awareness, the bi-lateral aspect of the stimulation serves to shake the trauma loose, kind of like getting that last bit of ketchup out of the bottle. Researchers have discovered that trauma can get trapped in the body and get stuck, or frozen The alternating bi-lateral stimulation targets these areas and thaws, or softens them, so that they can be released.

That sounds like it might be painful…

The most painful part of the trauma is going through it. Once a person is ready to process the trauma, the hardest part is over. Using a tool like EMDR to complete the processing of an unprocessed memory releases the pain that has been carried since the initial trauma was experienced. With the processing work may come catharsis and can trigger painful memories, but the point of the work is to release the pain and re-program the memory with what it needs to feel complete. EMDR is a multi-phase process that takes time to establish readiness for. The actual process of moving your eyes, listening to sounds, or holding the paddles doesn’t take very long. There is work that has to take place before and after the EMDR session to set up the session and to close the work.

So, how long does it take?

Well, it depends. It depends on the type and kind of trauma that we are going to try and process. You may have heard of “Big T” trauma and “Little t” trauma. You may have also heard of “single incident trauma.” Depending on the severity of the experience, and how many memories are attached to the target memory, it can happen in as few as 5 or 6 sessions. It also depends on what else is going on in your life. Depending on the current life stressors, sometimes a therapy session might focus on a negative experience or a fight with a partner that took place over the last few days. No matter what the situation, we will go at your pace. We will certainly set an intention to do this work as quickly as possible, but without need to create a rush or any additional sense of urgency.

Reach out for more information on EMDR in Grass Valley and Nevada City. Let’s start the conversation today and talk more about how this work could be helpful to you.

Every Relationship has Challenges

What’s wrong with me? Am I bad at relationships?

It is easy to let negative self-talk get in the way of the truth. The fact of that matter is that relationships are hard. It is also important to consider that rarely are we good at everything without any practice or coaching. We don’t have to go through life and the challenges that we encounter alone. Through connection to other people, community, and loved ones, the stressors that come up in life are more easily faced. These days and ages, it is easy to see the online world of another person and think, “what did they do that I didn’t to get there?” or “why is their life so much better than mine?” I’m sure there are a million other questions we can ask ourselves that all have a similar tone and theme, that there is something wrong with me or with my relationship. I find that it is all too easy to drown ourselves in negative self-talk, defeating ourselves rather than the issue at hand. Within our relationships to others, especially our lovers, these voices can be particularly loud.

How do I fix my relationship?

Wanting to “figure it out", or “fix it” is not an uncommon place to start. Knowing what to do next is where the hard part comes in. But, think of this, you’re here, you’re reading this, so that tells me that you’re trying. That tells me that you are reaching out for support. Getting support for how we show up in relationship is a totally natural thing to do. As a species, from day 1, we begin to imitate the other people in our lives. We learn by watching, listening, and practicing that which we see other people do. When we want to learn something new, we go find other people that can help us learn.

That’s where couple’s therapy can be incredibly helpful. Each of us are born with unique talents and skills that naturally develop. Unfortunately, that doesn’t mean we are always going to be well equipped to face the challenges that come up when we get into relationship. Empathy is a great example of this. Some people are naturally empathic and others need some help to learn. Healthy communication styles and patterns can have a huge impact on the well-being of a relationship. Sometimes, the patterns we observed and absorbed when we were younger lose their effectiveness and it is time to learn something to replace it.

Let’s Start Solution Focused and Skill Based Couple’s Counseling in Grass Valley Together

Couple’s counseling doesn’t have to signal the end of anything negative. Rather it is a forum for old patterns and practices that no longer serve the relationship to be released. Couple’s counseling doesn’t have to involve digging up the past and going eye for an eye with issues. The best part about therapy is that we get to make it what you want, and set goals together. We can take a practical, solution focused approach to learning effective and efficient tools and skills for your relationship. Often what couples need most are new tools and skills in the here-and-now. Together we can re-establish the bond and commitment that you made with each other. Together we can sow the seeds for a healthy and happy future together. Together, we can heal. Email or Call me today to get this conversation started.