Looking for EMDR in Grass Valley?

First of all, EMDR, what’s that? In the most basic sense, EMDR is a tool, much like a paintbrush or a screwdriver. More importantly, it is how the tool is used and for what purpose. EMDR is a therapeutic tool used for processing trauma. EMDR stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing, quite the mouthful. The technique is used alongside psychotherapy and has shown, through evidence based research, to be an effective and efficient tool for processing trauma.

Yeah, but what is EMDR?

Well, not all EMDR has to involve eye movement, or a person waving their hand in the air. What the eye movement is working to accomplish is what we call “alternating bi-lateral stimulation.” This serves multiple purposes. By providing a stimulation through eye movement, headphones, or vibrating paddles, the person receiving the treatment is kept in the here-and-now as memories are triggered and brought into the present moment. In addition to providing a grounding, present moment centered awareness, the bi-lateral aspect of the stimulation serves to shake the trauma loose, kind of like getting that last bit of ketchup out of the bottle. Researchers have discovered that trauma can get trapped in the body and get stuck, or frozen The alternating bi-lateral stimulation targets these areas and thaws, or softens them, so that they can be released.

That sounds like it might be painful…

The most painful part of the trauma is going through it. Once a person is ready to process the trauma, the hardest part is over. Using a tool like EMDR to complete the processing of an unprocessed memory releases the pain that has been carried since the initial trauma was experienced. With the processing work may come catharsis and can trigger painful memories, but the point of the work is to release the pain and re-program the memory with what it needs to feel complete. EMDR is a multi-phase process that takes time to establish readiness for. The actual process of moving your eyes, listening to sounds, or holding the paddles doesn’t take very long. There is work that has to take place before and after the EMDR session to set up the session and to close the work.

So, how long does it take?

Well, it depends. It depends on the type and kind of trauma that we are going to try and process. You may have heard of “Big T” trauma and “Little t” trauma. You may have also heard of “single incident trauma.” Depending on the severity of the experience, and how many memories are attached to the target memory, it can happen in as few as 5 or 6 sessions. It also depends on what else is going on in your life. Depending on the current life stressors, sometimes a therapy session might focus on a negative experience or a fight with a partner that took place over the last few days. No matter what the situation, we will go at your pace. We will certainly set an intention to do this work as quickly as possible, but without need to create a rush or any additional sense of urgency.

Reach out for more information on EMDR in Grass Valley and Nevada City. Let’s start the conversation today and talk more about how this work could be helpful to you.

What Does it Mean to Ask For Help?

Asking For Help Can Be Hard

It doesn’t matter what it’s about, sometimes I have a lot of difficulty asking for help. Maybe it has to do with the fact that I was raised with the messages “be tough" and “be a man,” maybe it has to do with my quest for self-reliance and independence. Maybe, just maybe, I was born this way. It just might be the case that I will have ample opportunity to practice asking for help in a variety of contexts and situations for the rest of my life. Maybe I’m looking at this through a lens that has nothing to do with that it is hard for me to ask for help, rather it is hard for me to accept it.

Or Sometimes Is It Accepting the Help that is Hard?

Accepting and asking are inherently two different things. One has an inwardly directed energy and one has an external energy. What does it mean to open myself up to receive energy, in this instance help, from an outside source? At first glance, I have to put myself in a vulnerable position to be able to receive. I have to accept that I can’t do it alone. The risk my brain wants to convince me of is that I am inadequate, not enough, or unable to do something on my own. These are difficult narratives and stories to overcome. The trick that I like to use when moments like this arise is to ask myself what happens when I flip the script, turn the narrative around, and ask myself, “What do I have to gain from this situation? How can asking for help be a positive?”

An easy metaphor for this situation is thinking about having to go to the doctor for a broken limb. If I were to break my arm, I would need help to re-set the bone, stabilize the injury, and position things so that healing could happen most efficiently. This is an example I like to turn to when I am faced with the difficulty it takes to ask for help. I also take time to let myself feel into the experience of receiving help from a more skilled/trained person. It could also be though of taking music lessons when we want to learn how to play an instrument. It isn’t necessarily that we can’t figure it out on our own, it just might be that we get to more exciting places faster by getting help from a pro.

Support through counseling is within your reach.

When I think of asking for and receiving help with terms like this, I am much more able to do each of these things. My anxiety, worry, or insecurity shrinks. More often than not, asking for some help can lead to some powerful, catalyzing changes. Reach out and ask for help today. I wonder what will happen.

Where do I start?

Feeling stuck?

It can be easy to feel stuck. Sometimes life gives us those lemons that we all hear people talking about. What happens when that happens and we don’t have enough of the other stuff and can only make lemon juice? How do we get to where we can make the lemon-aid?

Well, all it takes is a container, some water, and some sugar. The container is the space. The space is the place where the work takes place, where the magic happens and the ingredients get to blend into something new. The water is you. Humans are composed of 70% water, as it turns out, we seem to have plenty of this around. So, that leaves us with needing some sugar.

Making life sweet again.

Sugar. We all know that sugar is sweet. So, what is the sweet element that is missing here. Well, the sweetness that is missing is something we all could serve to do some more of, self-care. It’s going to take you choosing to do something for yourself. It’s going to take you doing something sweet for yourself to get this party started. Committing to yourself, committing to your growth, your healing and your process is all we need for the sweetness.

I’m here to hold space for your Growth and Healing

What I can offer is the space. My job is to be the container for this work, whether you are in Nevada County or beyond. Your job is to make the first move by calling or emailing me today. Together we can work together to squeeze those lemons and turn them into the something that can quench your soul.