What Does it Mean to Ask For Help?

Asking For Help Can Be Hard

It doesn’t matter what it’s about, sometimes I have a lot of difficulty asking for help. Maybe it has to do with the fact that I was raised with the messages “be tough" and “be a man,” maybe it has to do with my quest for self-reliance and independence. Maybe, just maybe, I was born this way. It just might be the case that I will have ample opportunity to practice asking for help in a variety of contexts and situations for the rest of my life. Maybe I’m looking at this through a lens that has nothing to do with that it is hard for me to ask for help, rather it is hard for me to accept it.

Or Sometimes Is It Accepting the Help that is Hard?

Accepting and asking are inherently two different things. One has an inwardly directed energy and one has an external energy. What does it mean to open myself up to receive energy, in this instance help, from an outside source? At first glance, I have to put myself in a vulnerable position to be able to receive. I have to accept that I can’t do it alone. The risk my brain wants to convince me of is that I am inadequate, not enough, or unable to do something on my own. These are difficult narratives and stories to overcome. The trick that I like to use when moments like this arise is to ask myself what happens when I flip the script, turn the narrative around, and ask myself, “What do I have to gain from this situation? How can asking for help be a positive?”

An easy metaphor for this situation is thinking about having to go to the doctor for a broken limb. If I were to break my arm, I would need help to re-set the bone, stabilize the injury, and position things so that healing could happen most efficiently. This is an example I like to turn to when I am faced with the difficulty it takes to ask for help. I also take time to let myself feel into the experience of receiving help from a more skilled/trained person. It could also be though of taking music lessons when we want to learn how to play an instrument. It isn’t necessarily that we can’t figure it out on our own, it just might be that we get to more exciting places faster by getting help from a pro.

Support through counseling is within your reach.

When I think of asking for and receiving help with terms like this, I am much more able to do each of these things. My anxiety, worry, or insecurity shrinks. More often than not, asking for some help can lead to some powerful, catalyzing changes. Reach out and ask for help today. I wonder what will happen.

Where do I start?

Feeling stuck?

It can be easy to feel stuck. Sometimes life gives us those lemons that we all hear people talking about. What happens when that happens and we don’t have enough of the other stuff and can only make lemon juice? How do we get to where we can make the lemon-aid?

Well, all it takes is a container, some water, and some sugar. The container is the space. The space is the place where the work takes place, where the magic happens and the ingredients get to blend into something new. The water is you. Humans are composed of 70% water, as it turns out, we seem to have plenty of this around. So, that leaves us with needing some sugar.

Making life sweet again.

Sugar. We all know that sugar is sweet. So, what is the sweet element that is missing here. Well, the sweetness that is missing is something we all could serve to do some more of, self-care. It’s going to take you choosing to do something for yourself. It’s going to take you doing something sweet for yourself to get this party started. Committing to yourself, committing to your growth, your healing and your process is all we need for the sweetness.

I’m here to hold space for your Growth and Healing

What I can offer is the space. My job is to be the container for this work, whether you are in Nevada County or beyond. Your job is to make the first move by calling or emailing me today. Together we can work together to squeeze those lemons and turn them into the something that can quench your soul.

You Can’t Do Someone Else’s Work for Them.

When it comes to life, growth and healing can only happen from the inside-out.  One on hand, this can seem like an unfortunate truth that we can’t do someone else’s work for them.  After all, there are so many aspects of life where we can, like filling up our partner’s gas tank, or doing their laundry.  But, when it comes to our spiritual and personal growth work, that work can be supported by a qualified person, but can’t be done by anyone but you.

Change comes from within. 

One of the more fascinating things about life is that what we experience on the outside is a reflection of what we experience on the inside.  Sometimes these things are extremely hard for us to understand without having to project them onto some sort of external reality.  This creates some distance, both literally and figuratively, between us and thing that we needed some help with understanding.  This can happen both with regards to the positive and the negative.  This effect is something that we have little control over, but thankfully, we are not out-of-control of everything.

So what can we do about it?

Although we cannot take control of what we project onto others, we can take control of our awareness of it.  Most of the time, our projections happen from our sub-conscious, they get sent out from a place that is hard to be attuned to and aware of.  I believe that a person is able to train their awareness, like strengthening a muscle.  I believe that a person can actually notice that what they are experiencing with regards to the external world is actually a part of their own self that is wanting attention, wanting to be seen.  Sometimes this is actually the only way for us to be able to see those parts of ourselves that linger in the shadows.  Sometimes that work is what is needed to be able to fully integrate the parts of ourselves that didn’t get the attention they wanted or deserved when we were younger.

Interested in learning more about yourself?  Contact James today for a free consultation to see how we can work together!